phantasmal vainglory

The clash of iron and chitin rang beautifully in Tiso’s ears. The smell of blood on his shield was invigorating, the adrenaline delicious, the cheers of the crowd addictive. They laughed at each of his opponents as he slashed them open with his sharpened shield. He imagined they admired his technique, his ability to throw his shield in such a way that it returned to him while still gouging deep into his opponent’s shells. It was like his dead friend, from whose shell he fashioned the weapon, was still by his side. The crowd cheered as he cleared another wave. He lifted his hands to drink in the praise, raising the shield with them as he waited for the next cage to ascend. He didn't notice the shadow that cloaked the ordinarily bright glimmer of his shield and armor. The arrival of his next foe was not announced. As the massive bug slammed its full bodyweight into Tiso, he could feel his shell crack under the armor. He coughed up blood as he was smothered and flattened. Over the sounds of his own pathetic death, Tiso could hear the crowd laughing. They were laughing at him.

Why...?

Why?

Why!?

He watched another corpse sail past the ledge he was on and into the acid pits below. He learned long ago that there was nothing he could do. He couldn't reclaim his honor, trapped forever in a repeating nightmare intermittently interrupted by the reminder that he was dead. How many times had he relived that scene? How many times over had he died? He looked at his corpse. It looked pathetic and squashed. They had to scrape him off the floor. He had let his friend down. Tiso reached out to the shield, his fingertips phasing through the silver shell.

Why? Why, why, why?

Tiso longed to wield it again, to pick up his shattered dreams and march forward to repair them, to tape together his broken pride and come back stronger than ever. Just as his dear friend always told him to. Tiso angrily knocked a pebble off the cliff. He couldn't pick up heavy objects or exert a lot of force, but he had this at least. It bounced off the helmet of a bug further down as indicated by a light ‘ting.’ Armor. What a useless invention. Slashes and stabs were repelled, sure, but Tiso had been crushed. Crushed! And everyone laughed at him!

Why...?

He was about to go through the dream again, but a bit of movement caught his eye before he did. A small creature hefted itself over the ledge and knelt next to Tiso’s body. What was it doing? Tiso examined it closer. It was clearly a spider judging by the number of limbs, and it wore a shoulder-length cloak with a small hood that it didn't have pulled up. Its mask had no facial features or horns, simply being a sphere that covered its head. Tiso had never seen such an unrefined mask in his life. It carried a basket in one of its extra arms as it poked and prodded Tiso’s body. It squeezed his arms and legs gently. There was an arm poking out of its basket. Tiso recoiled violently. Was this thing going to eat him!? He had heard spiders ate bugs, but he never thought he’d be spider food himself. The spider stopped prodding Tiso for a moment to scavenge around on the rest of the ledge. It picked up Tiso’s shield, holding it up to the light.

No!! Put him down!!

Tiso grabbed the shield, but his hand phased through it when the spider put the shield on its back. This was horrible. He didn't want his friend’s shell sullied by some stranger. The spider reached into its basket and pulled out a large cleaver. After checking its sharpness, the spider lifted the blade and grabbed one of Tiso’s wrists. As it brought the blade down, Tiso reflexively grabbed the spider’s wrist. He didn't expect that to actually do anything, but the spider stopped its movement cold. It lowered the blade and looked around. The fact it was able to move meant Tiso hadn't physically blocked its movement. Could it sense him?

“Hello?” Its voice was quiet, as though whispering to itself and hoping it wouldn't get a response. Tiso flicked a pebble at the spider as hard as he could. It flinched away in pain. “I’m sorry. I didn't know you were here.” Tiso huffed angrily. That thing had the audacity to apologize for possibly desecrating his corpse but wouldn't return the shield! How dare it! He flicked another rock at it angrily. It flinched again. When Tiso went to flick a third, it grabbed the pebble. “Okay, that's enough. I let you hit me twice already.” Tiso waited for a minute, then tried flicking a pebble from behind it. The spider grabbed the pebble again, snatching it out of the air. “I won't eat you, I promise.”

That's not enough! Give him back!!

Before Tiso could grab at the shield again, the spider hefted Tiso’s corpse up onto its shoulders.

Hey!! Put me down!!!

It couldn't hear his pleas. He followed it as it carefully scaled down the cliff. The spider could walk on the wall as though it were a floor even while carrying Tiso’s corpse. How horrifying. It slipped into a hole in the wall Tiso hadn't noticed before. The reason why he hadn't seen it became obvious when the spider gently closed the trapdoor. It was too dark to see from this point, but Tiso found that he could sense the outline of the cavern. He hadn't been able to do that when he was alive. He would've been stumbling around blindly, as much as he hated to admit it. The spider’s footsteps were silent as it crawled through the tunnel. Eventually a soft light could be seen up ahead. Tiso followed the spider into the light…

…into its den.

The den was covered in webbing, but not the beautiful and organized sheet webs that Tiso had seen in stories. Not that Tiso ever read such silly things, of course. At least, not past his larval stage. Ahem. These webs were messily tangled, knotted and clumped and coating every surface. It was hideous. Tiso hated it. Even worse, the spider carefully propped up Tiso’s corpse against the wall, meaning he was now trapped in those same webs. For the first time in a while, Tiso was glad he was dead. Being trapped in such ugly webs sounded like a nightmare. Not that being trapped in pretty ones would be much better, but if Tiso was going to be eaten by a spider he’d hope they had the decency to tie his corpse up properly instead of sticking him to the wall. The source of light in the den was many clusters of trapped lumaflies, all struggling to escape and failing. The spider pulled severed insectoid limbs out of its basket, which caused Tiso to shudder. The parts that had been cut open were sealed with more messy webbing, which the spider pulled off of the limbs before putting them in the pot. It didn't put everything it had gathered in there, but it did fill the pot with a sizeable amount of water. It got this water from a rain barrel in the corner, which seemed to have a steady trickle of water coming in from somewhere up above. Perhaps the den was below the rainy city Tiso had seen on his way to the arena. The locations lined up. Tiso examined the barrel curiously. He hadn't noticed it at first due to all the webbing, but he could see now that, at least in this case, the webbing had a practical purpose. The webbing over the mouth of the barrel was dirty, clearly filtering the water. It wasn't super dirty, implying that it was replaced regularly. Tiso heard the sharp flick of a match, followed shortly by a roaring flame. He realized that the floor of the den was perfectly clean, likely to avoid catching fire when the spider cooked. It stirred the limbs a little bit, then left it alone to sit in the corner. Tiso watched it spin a strand of silk between its hands, then watched as it tangled and knotted it. It seemed to get frustrated as the webs knotted themselves. What was it trying to do? Tiso approached the spider curiously. He was dead, so it's not like he had to worry about it attacking him. Normally he wouldn't give a crap what the creature trying to eat him was up to, but he had nothing better to do aside from reliving his death again. He watched the spider ball up its failed web and shove it on the wall, mixing it with its other tangled and matted webs. Did it… not know how to make a proper web? Tiso watched it try again. It was trying to make the sheet web pattern with only one thread. It got tangled around the spider’s claws and the knots it made kept sliding out of place. Sometimes it stuck to its arms, sometimes it slid off like silk. Well, it was silk. Tiso wasn't sure what to make of this. He watched it do this for quite some time before it gave up and went back to its pot. It stirred the limbs carefully. The broth was the color of bug blood, a sickly yellow-green that would ruin Tiso’s appetite if he had one. The spider lifted its plain mask to taste the broth. It didn't lift it enough for Tiso to see its face. It pulled a few glass bottles from some webbing and sprinkled the dried leaves inside into the broth, stirring it again before leaving it alone. This time it sat next to the basket and started parsing through the remaining limbs. It pulled off the webs stopping the blood from oozing out and held each limb over the pot until they ran dry. Satisfied that they were no longer gushing fluids, the spider began gnawing open the exoskeletons to get at the meat within. Once the chitin was peeled off and set aside, it started chopping the meat into bits with its cleaver. Tiso had to look away. Being covered in the gore of your enemies was honorable and even enjoyable, but watching a spider butcher a bug to eat was a bit nauseating. He turned back to the scene once he heard the spider drop the meat into the broth. It stirred it a little, then approached Tiso’s body. The spider sat across from him, wringing its claws nervously.

“Are you still here…?” Tiso wasn’t sure how to answer. His corpse was too stuck to move, and there were not many loose rocks. He shoved the spider as hard as he could. It swayed a little in the opposite direction, but not much. “I see… hello. Um… maybe I should make a way for you to talk to me…?” Tiso crossed his arms as he sat on the ground.

I have no interest in speaking to you, arachnid. You’re wasting your time.

The spider couldn't hear his thoughts, of course, so it scoured its den for something to use. It returned with one of the chitin pieces it discarded.

“Can you pick this up?” Tiso tried. He could lift it a little, but he couldn't get it off the ground. It slipped between his fingers. “Okay… so, um… one tap can be no, and two can be yes, and throwing it somewhere can be ‘come over here,’ maybe… is that okay?” There wasn't any room for nuance in that system. Tiso tapped once. “N-no? Um… oh, do you want a maybe? Two can be maybe, and three can be yes?” It was the best Tiso was going to get, so he tapped the chitin piece against the ground three times. “Okay! Then it’s settled.” The spider sounded pleased with itself. “Do you want something to eat?” Tap. Silence. “Oh… I guess that makes sense. You’re a ghost, after all. At least, I think you’re a ghost?” Tap tap tap. “Oh, good. I mean, it’s unfortunate that you’re dead, but I’m glad you're a ghost and not like… um… something bad.” Tiso flung the chitin piece at the spider, which it snatched out of the air. “I don’t like being attacked.”

I don't like being dead. We have to deal with things we don’t like sometimes.

Tiso grabbed a different piece of chitin and flung it as well, which the spider smacked aside using the piece it had already grabbed.

“I’m not sure if you know this, but spiders can sense air movement quite well. I let you hit me the first two times, but I won't allow you to hit me any more.” Tiso scoffed to himself as he leaned back into the wall. Since he was dead, he couldn't feel the gross webbing clinging to him. The spider remained on alert for a few minutes, then gently set the chitin piece back down in front of Tiso’s corpse. “I want to be friends.” Tiso leaned forward to grab the piece. Tap. “I guess that's fair. Let’s at least peacefully coexist.” Tap. “...I guess I did bring you here against your will…” Tap tap tap. “I’m sorry. I’ve just… been alone this whole time. I guess I got excited.” The spider stood up once more to tend to its stew again. Tiso crossed his arms grumpily despite the fact the spider couldn't see him. It had the audacity to loot his corpse and almost dice it up to eat and it says it kidnapped him for companionship? How pathetic and backwards. Tiso could never understand how other bugs thought, and it seemed that spiders were even more enigmatic. Thinking about it more, he was surprised that spiders spoke the same language bugs did. They had always been portrayed as bloodthirsty monsters in the stories Tiso had read about them. They ate anything that got tangled in their webs, even including other spiders, by drinking their bodily fluids until they were nothing but husks to be discarded. Yet here was a spider who couldn't weave a web, who picked what it ate carefully, who cooked its quarry. Hell, the spider didn't even hunt, instead scavenging like a lowly scarab! Tiso tuned out the spider’s gentle humming as it cooked. “Hmm… I might have to pay the gardens a visit soon… I think I’m out of vegetables after this batch. Do you want to come with me?” Tap. Silence. “Oh. I’ll leave you here, then.” Tiso had no plans on staying put for as long as the spider held his friend hostage, but he didn't want to watch it lug his corpse around either. It was uncomfortable. His body had already looked pathetic and weak in its crushed state, being carried on a spider’s back was just too much. Tiso threw the chitin piece at the spider again. It smacked it aside using the spoon it was using to stir the soup, then went back to cooking without even chastising Tiso for his aggression.

The stew was starting to have a distinct smell. It was sending Tiso mixed signals. On one hand, the tender vegetables and spices reminded Tiso of a time long gone, back when he lived in the ant colony far away and was being cared for by nurse ants in preparation for his destiny. On the other hand, the smell of the meaty broth brought him to the field of battle, to his glorious triumphs and his crushing failure. Too many memories whirled around his head as he took in that scent. There was also a third undertone, one Tiso was unfamiliar with. He attributed that to the fact the bug flesh was cooked instead of raw and bleeding. It made him uncomfortable. He writhed as he watched the spider spoon the stew into a bowl. It was a far more luxurious meal than most adventurers of Hallownest ate. There was a rice base, and the sauce thickened well. Chopped vegetables broke up the smooth texture of the sauce. The rice had absorbed what broth hadn't become thick. The chunks of meat were large and looked well cooked. Gag. He couldn't bear to watch the spider eat, so he turned away and sulked. If only he hadn't been caught off guard by that massive insect, he wouldn't have to witness this abhorrent scene.

“My name is, um, Chef, by the way…” Tiso turned to look at the spider involuntarily. It had its mask all the way off now, and it stared at Tiso’s corpse with six wide, unblinking eyes. “I um… I came up with it just now. I hatched alone, so I never really needed a name… I mean, I guess I still don't need one, because I can't hear you even if you say it, so…” Tiso frowned. He grabbed a different chitin piece nearby and tapped it against the floor once. “N-no? What do you mean by that? D-do you not like that name? What about Silk?” Tap. “Um. Tangle?” Tap. “Is it because those are already words? What about… Y/N? That sounds name-like… I don't really know…” Its shoulders drooped. Tiso was about to tap another no, but he hesitated. Here was a creature trying to pick a name for itself. He could vaguely remember trying to pick his own name. How many had he tried before he landed on Tiso? How many times had he been told the names he chose didn't suit him just because it wasn't the one his nurse had given him? The dejection in the spider’s face and body language wasn't something Tiso would ordinarily sympathize with, but in this case…

Tap tap tap.

“Yes?” The spider’s eyes lit up as it turned its attention back to Tiso’s corpse. “Then… Y/N! That's me! That's really me…” It smiled brightly. “I wish I could know your name… maybe someday.” Tiso rolled his eyes at that.

Don't let a moment of sympathy make you believe that I give a damn about you. I just want my friend back.

His thoughts fell on deaf ears. The spider returned to happily eating its meal. Tiso returned to sulking.